Tuesday, August 2, 2011

New Keyboards and Funny Penis-related Stories

Look, ma, no gibberish.  I am the proud new owner of one of those new-fangled keyboards.  You know the type, the super expensive wireless type complete with all letters, numbers, and punctuation.  This is a big improvement over the last insanely expensive wireless variety that lacked all that other exciting and essential stuff.

The lack of U's and H's made it impossible to type in my URL or even write my own name.  Of course, I was H-less on Harry Potter's birthday, so I got to wish a "appy birtday to arry Potter."  Apparently, when a keyboard is destroyed by water, it develops Hagrid's accent.

Now that I have the entire collection of letters, numbers and punctuation at my fingertips, I can share this story which manages to be both penis-related and funny.

Our children, like every other child who has come before them, like to repeat inappropriate things...loudly...in mixed company.

My husband was giving the two youngest a bath this weekend when our son (who never shuts the hell up is very talkative) felt compelled to ramble on about his penis.  The majority of the conversation/monologue is lost from my memory, the end, however, is a different story.

The 5-year-old announced, "(blah blah blah; stuff and nonsense)...but I just have a kid-sized penis because I'm a kid.  Not Daddy, though.  He's a grownup, so he has a big penis.  Daddy, your penis is THIS big." (said while holding his hands quite a wide distance apart)

At that point, I heard my husband tell him, "Now THAT you're allowed to repeat anywhere and everywhere you want."

It was at this point that I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe.


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