Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Next Up On Our Itinerary

Next up on our itinerary while the husband is away:  Vomiting.  Not just any vomiting, mind you, vomiting FROM THE TOP BUNK.

Oh happy freaking day!  Our kids are very rarely sick, but why, oh why, are they about 83.2% more likely to get ill/injured while their father is thousands of miles away?

Why?  Why?

That's it.  I've had it.  I'm creating a wishlist.

Here is what I wish for. Should you be at a loss for what to get me, pick from any one (or combination) of these:

  1. More towels (since SEVEN full-sized ones were used to clean up and most of the others are packed)
  2. A maid (so someone other than me could have cleaned up using those aforementioned towels)
  3. An additional washer/dryer set (to clean the tons of towels, sheets, shoes, and curtains [YES, she hit the freaking curtains ACROSS THE ROOM] contaminated during top bunk vomit hockey)
  4. Twelve extra sets of hands to switch that laundry from washer to dryer and then to fold all the laundry (plus the existing 4 loads already in the washer/dryer before top bunk vomit hockey 3000).
  5. A full body massage.  

That last one doesn't make any sense you say?  I say, "SCREW YOU!"  I have none of those things and so I'M the one doing all the clean up, so I freaking deserve it!


Now my son is vomiting too. It's Top Bunk Vomit Hockey 3000 part DEUX. Oh happy day!

 He made it to the bathroom, but, in the dark, didn't see the lid was down and threw up all over it.  Then he wiped his mouth on my towel--the only one left after all the others were used to clean up after his sister.  Need I remind you that the laundry basket, washer AND dryer are all currently in use.

Mind if I add a pedicure and a bottle of rum to that wishlist?

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