Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mothers and other lesser creatures

I recently spent time with a friend who confided that her husband tells her repeatedly that she doesn't do anything all day because he works outside in the heat and she stays home with their two year old.  He threatens to kick her out of their house because, in his mind, it's really only his since he's the only one who makes any money.

There was a list of other hateful things she hears often which tear her down for being a mother.

It's only this Mother's Day, after hearing about those hateful things, that I truly appreciate my husband's views on motherhood.  Even in situations not nearly as extreme as that first friend, I've heard stories from other friends about snide remarks their husbands have made or expectations they have which clearly show they don't believe their wives are their equals.

I've never heard a negative remark from my husband about my lack of a paycheck (and I should point out that, before we had kids, my salary was the highest of the two).  He doesn't expect me to serve him food, much less serve him before myself.  Hell, he doesn't even expect me to cook dinner (he's the better cook).  He is not at all the type to refer to parenting the kids as "Babysitting."  Even though he works full-time outside the home, we split the cleaning duties.  He changed diapers (cloth diapers even) and gave baths without complaint (well, without excessive complaints about the diapers at least).  When he was still home, bedtime stories were his thing.

I've had the luxury of forgetting how some folks view mothers in a negative light.  My husband respects me and motherhood and for that, I'm particularly thankful, this Mother's Day more than ever before.


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