World Prematurity Day 2011

My twins were born 2 months premature.  Today, I planned to share their story, but, when I stop to think about it, I'm too bitter.  Nearly 10 years later, the anger behind nearly losing my girls hits me too hard.  We're finally at a point where I no longer dread their birthday and "Homecoming Day" goes by almost unnoticed.  Still, I hate that we have a story to tell.  I hate that others have stories with endings not nearly as happy.  

So here, I'll leave you with my bitterness, my anger, and my post from this day last year.  

In an attempt to put a more positive spin on it, I'll share this related story about how one nurse made all the difference in the world and how I'll be forever in her debt.  

We're Off To See The Wizard

I just stumbled across some older Halloween photos and I figured I'd blog about them before life got in the way (as it has a habit of doing). In 2007, my girls decided they wanted to be Dorothy and Glenda from the Wizard of Oz. My oldest was inspired by a dress her grandmother gave her which looked remarkably like Dorothy's.

Since that was taken care of, all she needed was sparkly shoes. In the books, the shoes are actually silver.  Should we make ours red or silver?  I debated this for a while and eventually decided to take the movie route and made them ruby slippers. Red just looks better. I checked out the sparkly red shoes at the stores, but they were too expensive. The girls had a pair of worn dress shoes I bought for 50 cents. They were falling apart, so I just used some glue and sprinkled on some red glitter. They looked fantastic.

 I made Toto using the adorable Scotty Dog tutorial at AllSorts. I actually used scraps of the black fabric left over from the suit my husband wore when we got married.  No particular reason for that.  It's just what I had in my bag of scraps.  The kids still play with that stuffed dog.

Glenda was super simple.  I let her pick her favorite fancy dress.  Then we made a crown out of cereal boxes, construction paper, foam stickers and glitter.  She grabbed a wand from the dress-up box and I added some ribbon.

Now their little brother was supposed to be Jack Skellington.  I bought the costume for him the year before, but it was too cold that year (which was unusual), so he wore it under his lion jacket and no one ever got to see it.  Besides, his daddy is the one who's the Nightmare Before Xmas fan and he was deployed during our son's first Halloween anyway.  So I planned to reuse the costume when my husband was around to enjoy it.  Unfortunately, in our usual fashion, we procrastinated on bringing the box down from the attic (and by, "We," I mean, "My husband," since I'm barely taller than a garden gnome and couldn't reach the attic door).  So on Halloween morning, I found the Jack costume was too small.  D'oh!*

Your mom dresses you like a dork.

After some quick thinking, I threw together a munchkin costume.  More specifically, he was a member of the Lollipop Guild (because I feared a regular old munchkin wouldn't be recognizable).  I used his dress shirt and a pair of shorts (we lived in the South at the time, so it was warm enough to go out in shorts).  I grabbed a torn pair of my daughters' tights (which I always kept "just in case," and which I always told myself I should just throw away).  I painted on red stripes (you can't see the tear because they're under the shorts) and topped them off with his brown soft-sole shoes.

His hair was really what made the costume.  I split it into three and added some gel.  His hair is naturally curly, so it was easy to shape into three curls.  Now, pardon me a minute while I stare at that photo and sob for the red-head that once was.  At nearly 6 now, my son's no longer a ginger, much to my dismay.  ::sob::

I scoured the house for something to use to create a lollipop.  The red round lid for the raisins looked the best, so I let the kids finish off the entire container of raisins that Halloween (4 years later, they STILL remember that part fondly).  I used white paint marker on it,  glued that to a craft stick, and added some ribbon.  Viola, instant adorable munchkin.  I think it took me 1/2 an hour to create the whole costume.

While trick-or-treating that night, only ONE person realized that their costumes coordinated (and I wanted to kiss that one woman when she recognized it).  :::sigh:::  I guess that was better than the year my twins went as "Monkey See" and "Monkey Do" (complete with the word "Do" and the letter C pinned to their monkey costumes) and someone asked, "Why do those mice have letters on them?")

*You would think I learned my lesson, but NOOOOO.  The following year, I would, once again, find ON HALLOWEEN that the costume I planned to use for my son was too small and I would, once again, find myself throwing together a last minute costume for the poor kid.  That', however, is another story for another day (or more precisely, another costume for another blog post).  

November 17: Prematurity Awareness Day

Today is prematurity awareness day.  

I've shared our girls' stories here.  I've marveled about just how much they've grown.  

Here's the brief version of our difficult story:

Our daughters were born two months too soon.  My OB ignored the many symptoms of pre-eclampsia.  It was only when I went for a level 2 ultrasound with a specialist that someone finally listened to my concerns and my symptoms.  Unfortunately, since I had gone untreated for so long, it was too late.  They immediately sent me to the hospital to deliver that day.  

Born via c-section, L. weighed 4 lbs.  E. weighed 3 lbs 3 oz.  They spent four weeks in the NICU.  Looking back, that doesn't sound that bad, but it seemed to stretch on forever while we were in the middle of it.  NICU's do not exist in real world time.  Each day had enough emotional ups and downs to last a lifetime.  Each week felt more like months.  

L. initially had problems with her lungs and suffered bradycardia episodes. I watched her stop breathing in her incubator, heard the alarms and had to step back as the nurse ran in to rouse her.  E. suffered heart problems.  She was so easily over-stimulated that she was kept masked and we weren't able to hold her until she was over a week old.  I later found this probably wasn't the best course of care and that bothers me to no end.  I should have had my tiny baby against my skin, not locked away from me in an incubator.  

In the NICU, they fell down to 3 lbs and 2 lbs.  I didn't know if L would make it through the first night.  B'H', she did.  The next day, though, E. took a turn for the worse.  For about the first week, I didn't know if E would survive.  I vividly remember repeating, "She's going to make it" over and over again once we realized that would be the case.  

Looking back, and then looking at the time since then, I realize just how amazing their story is.  Ever since then, our kids have had an ideal recovery.  I loathe telling our pregnancy story to pregnant women because I don't think they need that negativity.  I love telling the girls' survival story to parents of preemies, though, because it really is as miraculous as one could hope for.

The girls didn't even suffer their first cold until just before their second birthday.  By the time they were 2, they were completely caught up in size and development.  In 2005, our girls were among a handful of preemies picked to be featured in the November issue of Parents Magazine as a part of their feature on the March of Dimes.  Now, at eight, they suffer no lasting consequences of their prematurity.  Their story often surprises people who meet them today.  

Today, the only reminder of their awful early beginnings are the teeny doll clothes in frames, the stacks and stacks of medical paperwork from their first year, the pictures, my visceral reaction to the beeping of hospital monitors (to this day, I cannot hear them, even on television without being startled), and our involvement with the March of Dimes.  We do the March for Babies every year.  

75% of babies born weighing 3 lbs 5 oz (which, remember, is larger than E.) died just 30 years ago.  It's through research funded by the March of Dimes that treatments have been created which help save these babies.  My children are alive thanks to the March of Dimes.  So, every year, we raise money and walk to help support them.  In 2008, our girls were the local ambassadors for the March of Dimes March for Babies.  

And so, today, on Prematurity Awareness Day, I remember, I cry, I celebrate, I thank G-d for what we've been given, I mourn for others who have lost, and I hug my kids close.  

For Sale

Photo by julia.picturetaker via Flickr.

For Sale:

Hurry and scoop up your 1300+ square feet of happiness.

Beautiful home in a nice neighborhood. It's not Edmond. It's not Norman. But hey, it's nice enough. Excellent home for a young family.

Corner lot means a large yard with plenty of room for children to play. Great for entertaining on summer evenings. This yard has been home to pools, swing sets, barbecues, parties, slides, handstand competitions, and bike races. Its potential is limit-less. This enchanted outdoor area possesses the magical powers which helped not one, but two children learn to ride without training wheels. Try your luck and see what magic this yard holds for YOU.

This back yard is famous. It was featured both on CNN and Washington College Magazine. CNN featured this yard (via a photograph taken in it) on the front page of their website as part of their "Coming Home" special report in honor of Memorial Day 2006. The yard was featured in a different photograph published in the Spring 2004 Washington College Magazine. No other yard in Oklahoma can claim these honors.

Formal dining room where countless family dinners have been eaten and an endless stream of crafts have been created.

1 bathroom which may seem like enough when that family is just a gleam in your eye, but will quickly become a bit of a nuisance. It's only a slight one, though. Because, as the last inhabitants and their four children have proven, it can be done and no one is going to explode RIGHT THIS MINUTE no matter how much the little ones may bounce up and down when it's already occupied.

Spacious playroom, fabulous for impromptu dance parties. Carpeting throughout this area to best cushion children and their attempts at gymnastics. In this room, you'll find the memory of three babies' first steps. This is the room where the military wife alone with only her twin babies first learned of the war in Iraq. As an added (happier) bonus, the walls of this room still contain the laughter of that same wife when she lost her ever-loving mind and decided to try hula hooping on the Wii Fit at 9 months pregnant.

Off the playroom is, what should have been the master bedroom, but instead is currently a huge office.  Are you a writer?  Then this office is calling your name.  This office is where one of the former inhabitants wrote a number of published parenting articles along with her first novel and where the other inhabitant wrote a constant stream of critically acclaimed screen plays and graphic novels for which he won some local fame.  If the writing bug alludes you, this office could still serve you well.  Do you need a home office?  Well, here ya go.  Do you just like the sound of referring to, "My office?"  Then this house has you covered.  

The front door opens to a Great Room with gorgeous hardwood floors. This makes an excellent formal living room as you can keep kids' toys (and messes) relegated to the back playroom. The layout of this fabulous home allows you to convince your friends and random people determined to sell you things (like Sonic cards, cookies, and/or Jesus) that you are actually a far better housekeeper than you might actually be.

The Great Room also opens to the kitchen. Storage space in this kitchen was doubled in 2003 with the addition of extra cabinets and counters. You will never be without a place to store food or kitchen containers in here. This kitchen boasts a breakfast nook. If you use it as such, the current owners request that you send pictures because that's what they always intended to do, but never did. High cabinets means you'll always have a place to hide snacks from the children (or your short spouse).

All major kitchen appliances are included. With your purchase, you'll receive a fridge, oven and dish washer. All of which, have been meticulously scrubbed and cleaned every year for Pesach. 

Just off the kitchen is a small laundry room. More than comfortably fits a washer and dryer and either a deep freeze or large utility shelf. The last owners had a freezer. Current owners have a large metal utility shelf. See how creative you can be with the space. Can you top their ideas? Do you want to put up a rock climbing wall? Snap this beauty up and install the most beautiful climbing wall you've ever seen.

4 bedrooms filled to the brim with memories. In the master bedroom, a baby was born. In one of the front bedrooms, a baby boy took his first steps. In the other front bedroom, twin girls spent many nights reading the Harry Potter series, saying prayers for their daddy while he was deployed and writing letters to friends. The large back bedroom works well as either a master bedroom or an office (see above). Its proximity to the playroom allows for easy surveillance of the children playing in there. It's distance from the rest of the house allows for peace and quiet even when children are arguing with each other elsewhere (i.e. in their bedrooms over who wears the blue sweater or in the kitchen over who gets to eat the last of the Cheerios).

Make an appointment today to see this dazzling jewel of a home.

"Where we love is home, home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts."--Oliver Wendell Holmes